Rex Heuermann Wife, Divorce, Family Fallout And Life After The Arrest

Asa Ellerup, the estranged wife of alleged Gilgo Beach serial killer Rex Heuermann, has found herself thrust into a relentless media spotlight since her husband’s shocking arrest in July 2023. After 27 years of marriage, the woman who once lived a quiet life in Massapequa Park, New York, is now at the center of a national true-crime saga, navigating trauma, public scrutiny, and a legal nightmare with her adult children by her side.

Heuermann, 60, a New York City-based architect and father of two, has been charged with the murders of seven women, dating back as far as 1993. He has pleaded not guilty to all charges and remains behind bars at Riverhead Correctional Facility as he awaits trial.

Asa Ellerup: Life Before the Shocking Arrest

Asa Ellerup, believed to be in her late 50s, married Rex Heuermann in April 1996. The couple raised two children together — Victoria, their biological daughter, and Christopher, Asa’s son from a previous relationship, whom Heuermann helped raise.

Ellerup lived a quiet life in Long Island, mostly keeping to herself, neighbors told reporters. The family shared Rex’s childhood home in Massapequa Park, where they maintained a low public profile. Prior to her husband’s arrest, Ellerup had no known criminal record, and no indications of what investigators would later uncover.

The Arrest and Immediate Fallout

On July 13, 2023, Rex Heuermann was arrested outside his office in Manhattan. Authorities quickly descended upon the Massapequa Park home, seizing electronics and searching the property for evidence. According to Ellerup’s attorney, Bob Macedonio, neither she nor her children had any forewarning.

“They were completely blindsided,” Macedonio told Fox News. “Their lives were turned upside down in an instant.”

Within days, Asa filed for divorce in Suffolk County Supreme Court, bringing an end to their decades-long marriage. The divorce was described as uncontested and was finalized by March 2025. Macedonio described the experience as akin to “a death in the family,” saying Ellerup had difficulty accepting that the man she’d known for nearly three decades could be capable of such violence.

Investigators Clear Ellerup and Children of Involvement

Authorities have made it clear that Ellerup and her children are not suspects and have no known involvement in Heuermann’s alleged crimes. According to Suffolk County Police Commissioner Rodney Harrison, the family was in a state of “shock, disbelief, and embarrassment” upon learning the truth.

While a strand of hair found with one of the victims matched Ellerup, prosecutors believe it was due to secondary transfer — a byproduct of her close proximity to her husband, not participation in the crimes. Prosecutors also stated that many of the murders occurred while Ellerup and the children were out of town, providing Heuermann with “unfettered time” to carry out his plans.

A Family Under Siege

Since the arrest, the media frenzy and public harassment surrounding the Heuermann family has been intense. The family home became a crime scene, and news crews and true crime fanatics began lingering around the neighborhood.

Attorney Vess Mitev, representing Ellerup’s children, reported that Christopher, who has developmental disabilities, was struggling to even walk the family dog without being photographed or mocked.

“They can’t even check the mail,” Mitev said. “That kind of scrutiny is not for my clients. They never asked for it.”

Both Victoria and Christopher continued to live at the family home with their mother as of late 2024, though court records show the family intends to move to South Carolina, where they already own a property. Ellerup has since decided to sell the Massapequa Park home, citing the emotional and psychological toll of remaining in the place tied to so much trauma.

Financial and Emotional Toll

Following the arrest, Ellerup’s and her children’s lives were financially upended. Heuermann’s architecture business in Manhattan closed, and Victoria, who had worked there, lost her job. With limited resources and media attention hampering any return to normalcy, true crime advocate Melissa G. Moore launched a GoFundMe campaign to support Ellerup and her children.

Ellerup, in interviews, has described the pain of watching her children suffer. In a July 2023 interview with the New York Post, she said:

“My children cry themselves to sleep… My son has developmental disabilities and he cried himself to sleep. He’s so distraught and doesn’t understand, and as a mother, I have no answers for him.”

Public Support and Media Attention

Despite the intense scrutiny, Ellerup has not stayed completely silent. She has released public statements through her attorney, asking for space and privacy, not only for her family but also for their elderly neighbors, who have also been caught in the media storm.

Ellerup is expected to participate in a Peacock documentary series chronicling the events surrounding the Gilgo Beach investigation. She has also attended several court hearings and maintains occasional contact with Heuermann in jail through calls and visits, according to Macedonio.